Haters Gonna' Hate....

Resiliency is something that I feel students are just really struggling with these days. The ability to bounce back...and the coping skills to become stronger. I was thinking long and hard about this the other day because "bless their hearts" my heart breaks for them. I was sitting at my desk after many conversations that day wondering what I could do? How can I help them see that this is only temporary? Why are kids not as resilient as years past?

Then it hit me. These kids deal with a whole ugly side of bullying, judgement, and attacks. They deal with technology. I can't imagine as a kid to deal with drama at school and then have it follow you home 24/7 because that's how long these kids usually have their phones on them on top of whatever is going on at home and with school work.

When I was in school (I know I am officially old for saying that), kids could escape the name calling or the comments at home but now it's on a whole new level. It's funny because when I talk to kids and we work on coping skills, I always tell them..."Haters gonna hate."

The kids give me a super awkward look and then say, "You're so right, Mrs. Acker!" Of course, this is after laughing at me (an old person who is a mommy and watches My Little Pony and Pokemon every night...don't judge)!

One of the things I discuss with students when we discuss coping and building resiliency is that there are negative people out there and we can't change or conform to their opinions about us because some of those negative people will STILL have something rude to say regardless. We use YouTube, online articles, and Instagram as examples. I spoke with a kiddo the other day about the new Taylor Swift video that they loved. We discussed the comments on the video and if they thought there were more negative or positive.

We then talked about how our actions and choices affect what people say. Will it stop all rude comments if we are wise in our decision making? No, not always. But we can find confidence in knowing that we are doing what we can do to make things better for ourselves and there will always be "haters."

I refer to this so much that I made a sign. Is it cheesy. Maybe. Is it a good saying? Oh yes! So for Cyber Monday...I am sharing a freebie with you along with a long story and example. Ha!

 You can get your own HERE! 

I think it's important to show our students that there are negative people and we can't let them control how we feel about ourselves or the decisions that we make. We can be respectful and show kindness in the face of negativity and after that....it's out of our control. We can't control other people's feelings...we can make an impact but we can't control them.

It's also important for parents to understand the difficulties that our kids face these days by educating them through parent meetings and providing resources.

Here are some helpful resources for you to use: 

Article on Helping Teens Manage Technology:
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_tips_for_helping_teens_manage_technology

Article on Building Resiliency in Children:
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/Building-Resilience-in-Children.aspx

25 Ideas for Teaching Your Kids Resiliency: (Great for Younger Kids/Toddlers)
http://creativewithkids.com/25-ideas-for-teaching-your-kids-resiliency/

Many of you have asked or emailed to see what I have been up to. I just love y'all! I love seeing my counselor friends on Instagram so you can find me there when I don't blog as much! My username is: melroseacker or you can click the icon on the top of this page.

So...what have I been up to? I have been enjoying Thanksgiving break with my sweet family and friends and getting excited for the Christmas season! I was able to attend an awesome counseling conference at the beginning of November and got some amazing ideas from the impressive presenters which I will share in another post! Other than that, I am just being thankful for each day...

Sweet time with sweet kiddos

Fun with friends

Getting ready for Christmas!

Enjoying a little Starbucks before the conference

Thanksgiving with my biggest blessings

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and take time for YOU to relax during this wonderful yet busy time of year!! Happy Holidays from my family to yours!