Game Changing Skin Care

Skin care was a very distant thought in my teens and early 20's. I remember sleeping in makeup and never even considered using a moisturizer. When I did wash my face before bed, I remember grabbing the Dove soap bar. My how times change. My habits changed in my late 20's and really made a turn in my mid 30's. Here I sit at 38 and I marvel at how much my skin has changed for the better. I spent most of my early to mid 30's puzzled by break outs while noticing those fine lines increasing. 

Let me just stop and say...the change was not really for aesthetic purposes...it was how my skin felt and how I felt about it. Below, I am breaking down the products and habits that made a HUGE difference in my skin. I know that everyone's skin is different and the products that work for them will vary. I am just sharing what worked for mine in hopes it may help someone else. I am not selling products and this post is not affiliated in any way.

My skin breakdown:

Combination (oily ad dry)

Breakouts and aging 

Super sensitive

My goals were:

feel confident without much makeup

preventative measures (gracefully age)- I know I am 38 but I wanted to start putting in the work now

decrease breakouts

So, here is the line up...

1. Curology-I would say this was the biggest piece of the puzzle. You take a skin quiz pointing out what your skin needs are. They send a customized bottle (you can choose the frequency) and you can even contact them if you think your formula needs to be changed. Mine is targeted for fine lines and to prevent breakouts.

*Use it every night

2. Botanic Tree Glycolic Acid Cleaner-I saw this recommendation from the adorable Sister Studio's IG. I was skeptical because my skin is so sensitive. I use this twice a week (usually the nights I use my self tanning drops) with my face cleansing brush and it has helped so much. 

*Use 2-3 times a week at night with face cleansing brush

3. Tula 24-7 Moisture-a reason I had so many breakouts was that I had such an uneven distribution of moisture. I use this each morning before my makeup. It gives skin a glow and I love that it is not greasy.

*Use it every morning

4. Tula Beauty Sleep-the creator/founder of Tula shared this is the one product that is a must have for her and I can see why. It contains probiotics and helps minimize the appearance of fine lines. 

*Use it every night

5. Tula Rose Glow & Get It Eye Brightening Balm-this is magic and I look forward to putting it on every morning after I wash my face. It helps minimize fine lines, is cooling, and helps my undereye look refreshed in the A.M.

*Use it every morning

I didn't add this in the graphic but one thing I love right now are the Isle of Paradise Tanning drops. I just add 5 drops to my moisturizer and I love how it is NOT orange based. I use shade medium.

I usually only have to replenish the products every 3 months. My curology comes every 3 months, as well. I have learned you don't have to use a ton of a product and I am able to make it last longer. 

These products have worked wonders for me but another huge piece is that I made some changes to my habits. 

1. Drinking More Water

I went from only drinking a bottle of water a day and drinking tons of caffeine to drinking around 50-64 oz of water and limiting it to 2 coffees a day. 

2. Limiting Dairy

I love ice cream but I had learned to limit it to a few times a month. I would say this is the biggest impact to my skin. I switched to almond milk in coffee and cereal and limit my dairy intake. Not only has this helped my skin but how I feel. 

I hope this post was able to help someone who may be struggling with their skin. I know it made me feel so self conscious. Interested in posts like this? Leave a comment below.

Melanie

New Year...New Beginnings

My favorite thing about the New Year is that it brings hope for so many. Although we can make a change anytime we are ready and take steps to move forward, a new year signifies a fresh start for many. 

I don't know about you but during quarantine life and 2020, I had more time than ever before to reflect on what is important to me. I also learned the importance of living in the present. One of the biggest lessons I learned is that being intentional makes a huge impact in all areas of my life. I have never cherished so many moments with my family, took the time for self care, and reflected on goals and the steps I need to take to reach them. Although 2020 has such a negative connotation (because many lives have been so greatly affected), I think we all learned a lot and had the ability to slow down. 

Enough about me. Let's talk about some habits and items that I feel are MUST HAVES for Goal Getters this New Year. 

I rounded up some of my fav things that I think are such simple, new year staples to help you get in that #goalsetting mindset. 

1) Paper Mate Flair Pens-really you could use any pens you have. These are my personal favorite because I love the fun colors and they don't bleed through the pages like my beloved Sharpies. You can find THESE on Amazon. 

2) Planner-again, you can use any planner depending on preference and budget. I love the Erin Condren Life Planner. I have tried Plum Paper, Kate Spade, and great ones from Target but always go back to Erin Condren. I love that you can customize the planner based on what you need and I love adding pictures and my name. A simple planner from anywhere works. The point is to have a way to get organized that works for you. (none of these items are affiliated)

3) Journal-I just ordered a new journal. I think journaling is one of the most amazing things we can do. Whether journaling about your day, writing a quick reflection, writing bible verses or quotes that are powerful-there is something about reflecting on YOU and your feelings. I always feel empowered when I go back and read a journal page where I was having a hard time or bad day and reading ahead to see how I overcame it. This is something I always recommend for my clients to do. It truly is powerful. (I could write a whole post just on journaling).

4) Vision Board Supplies-I LOVE vision boards. It is SO cool looking back at my vision board from last year and celebrating the areas I grew in and the goals I met. It is also cool to see what things I STILL need to work on. A vision board can be as simple or extravagant as you want it to be. The goal is to visualize what you want to work towards. There is such beauty in taking the time to reflect in this. The strategy is when your vision board is complete-put it somewhere you will see it frequently. I have some shelves upstairs with a lot of my counseling books and items (since I currently don't have a counseling office and do telehealth). My elliptical is facing it so I saw my vision board quite a bit. 

You can read last year's vision board post HERE.

Simple Vision Board Supplies:

computer or construction paper or poster board

write or draw on it

magazine clippings

markers, crayons, pencils

If you are wanting to make your vision board a little EXTRA, here are some supplies to use:

cork board or canvas

fabric

ribbon

scrapbook supplies (stickers, letters)

paint

pictures

Digital:

You can even create a virtual vision board in Google Slides Canva, or Powerpoint. You can save it as your desktop or save it as the wallpaper on your phone so that it is a constant visual reminder. Below is a quick example I created in Google Slides. 

Either way, any type of vision board can be a powerful tool to envision your future hopes and goals. 

I wish you all a Happy 2021. I am so thankful for this community and networking with you even more is something I look forward to this year! If you purchase any of the items above or create a vision board, please tag me...I would LOVE to see all of you #goalgetters!

You can follow me at the social media accounts below:

FB: Counseling and Confetti

FB (account with my husband): Thoughtful Thoughts

FB: Acker Counseling and Consulting

IG: @counseling_and_confetti

IG: @ackersbooks

Twitter: @melroseacker

Melanie

Social Emotional Learning and This Week's Top 2

Happy Sunday! I hope you all had a chance for rest, renewal, and relaxation. I don't know what it is like where you are but in Texas the weather has been gorgeous! It has been in the 70's and low 80's which is total fall weather to us. I want to break out the flannel and boots and drink all the pumpkin spice lattes. I know...so basic. Haha.

With school back in session whether in person or virtual, the need for social emotional learning is bigger than ever before. We have students who may be struggling with anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, or struggling with emotional regulation. As a past teacher, school counselor, and administrator emotional regulation was always an area that many students needed support. When my husband and I began writing books, I dreamed of creating a social emotional learning series because of what I had learned working with students. I realized the value of SEL and the need to explicitly teach those skills to students. We cannot expect students to just know these skills, we have to teach them just as we do with academic skills. I am so excited that we finally began our SEL series: Thoughtful Bots. Thoughtful Bots was created to be simple, bright, and written in the form of social stories. You can check the books out below. 

My Angry Robot

My Mindful Robot

To accompany these books is a  FREE Printable!! This can be used for students to write or draw their strategies after reading the books. These would be great for a small group or SEL lesson. 

Here are a few examples from a Kindergarten and 1st grade kiddo. I love how one said their strategy to help them feel calm is to lay down and relax and eat ice cream (my love language).

I hope these will be helpful tools as a parent, teacher, or counselor! I am also doing a GIVEAWAY right now for copies of both books! Like The Stylish School Counselor on FB or follow Counseling_and_Confetti on Instagram for more information!

You can also check out Ackers' Books on FB and Instagram.

Now, for this week's Top 2 Fav Items! Each week I will be sharing two favorite items. I am trying to keep it simple. It may range from beauty products, food, accessories, and everything in between.

 

 This week, my #1 FAV item is the Tula Rose Glow and Get It Cooling and Brightening Eye Balm. I seriously get so excited using it every morning...especially when I stay up working late. It helps those under eye bags and helps me wake up in the morning with the cooling effect. 

 

I have been wearing my 2nd fav item on repeat this week. Y'all know it's all about the chains lately. This one is a great price and is the perfect layering piece. And, friends, it is $12!!! It is from one of my favorite shops, Groovy's. 

I hope you all have a great week. Don't forget that you can enter my Thoughtful Bots Book Giveaway! Details are on FB and Instagram.

Confetti & Hugs,

Melanie

Follow Me on Instagram @counseling_and_confetti

 

Wellness Check In's

Hey, friends. I hope you are well and took some time for self care this weekend. I enjoyed indoor camping and lots of baking. I hope to top off the weekend with reading. I am currently reading EQ Intervention and it is so good! 

Today I wanted to talk about wellness check in's. With what we are all facing right now, wellness check in's are so vital. Checking on our students, teammates/co-workers, family members, and friends is key to supporting each other socially/emotionally. I recently created a wellness check in to utilize in Zoom meetings. Many times in our meetings, we are very focused on the tasks at hand. However, we can't give our best if we are struggling emotionally. We know we can't get to Bloom's without meeting Maslow with our students. This is the same with adults, too. We can't be a highly effective team if we aren't taking care of our people. 

Many of you reached out through Twitter, Instagram, & Facebook asking for the link to get your own copy!! Details on how to access your own, FREE copy is at the end of this post. 

Ways to Utilize the Wellness Check In:

1. You can print the check in and use when we are all back to face to face settings. It can be used at the start of counseling sessions or even be used in a classroom cool off area. 

2. You can use these in a Google Classroom. You can post it under Assignments with Wellness Check In as the Topic. You can set it up where students just respond privately to you to give their number/check in.

3. You can use it as a form. You can use it as a picture in a form and have students submit their info to you. You can either have them enter their name or set the form to where it collects their email address. I would suggest names because their emails may not match up. Example below:

4. You can use it in Zoom meetings. You can do wellness check ins and you can have people enter their number in chat or privately message it (whatever you are all comfortable with). To show it in the meeting, just have it pulled up and share screen.

Keys to Using Wellness/Check In:

1. Keep it confidential. I think we all know this one but we want to ensure we are keeping people's check in confidential and not share with others.

2. Follow Up!! We have to make sure if someone says that they are a 3, 4, or 5 that we individually check in on them. Check in's are great but not if we aren't truly using them for the purpose they were created for...and that is to provide support. 

3. Remind everyone it's okay to not be okay. Discuss that it is okay if you're a 4 or 5. Sometimes people are afraid to be open with this. Let them know the purpose of this is to check on them and see how you can help. 

I hope this is helpful for all of you. You can get your own free copy below. The only disclaimer for copyright is that you keep my blog/name information at the bottom of the product. If you use the Google slide version and make a copy, please ensure that the copyright/info is not taken off. Other than that, it is all yours to print or use however needed.

Google Version

PDF Version

I would love for you to share how you are using it!! 

Please feel free to tag me on the following social media accounts (please just make sure you are following your district/business policies)

Twitter @melroseacker

Facebook: The Stylish School Counselor    (PS I am working at changing everything Stylish School Counselor to Counseling_and_Confetti)

Instagram (where I am the most active): Counseling_and_Confetti

Have a great week. Remember, there are positives each day, sometimes we just have to look for them! 

Throwing confetti your way,

Melanie

FREE Activities for HOME

With many schools closing around the country, educators and parents are working so hard to ensure they are taking care of kids! I can personally speak to how hard it can be to juggle working from home and "homeschooling" your own kids. I can't even imagine for parents who are having to work outside the home, as well....I am thinking of you all and sending positive vibes your way. 

I think we can all agree that staying connected to our students and providing easy to use activities is our goal. It is has been so heartwarming seeing the joy on students' faces talking to their teachers. I think the silver lining in all of this is how everyone realizes how vital our education system is. 

Today, I wanted to share some FREE resources with all of you. My husband and I write books over at Ackers Books. One way we wanted to share during this difficult times is to record videos reading our books. I am not sure if you knew this but there are copyright issues if you read a book and record it so we wanted to take that worry out of the way! Below are links to some of our recordings that you can use at home or to share with students (you have our permission)! We are also linking some FREE activities that you can share/use at home or school. 

The first video is from the book My PE Teacher is a Ninja. You can access the video below. 

The second video is My Counselor is a Princess. You can access the video below.

The third video is Hootie Lou (one of my favorite books). You can access the video below:

We also have FREE Activities linked on our website over at Ackers' Books. 

I hope these resources are helpful as we all navigate these new challenges. I hope you're all staying healthy, practicing self care, and are well. I am SO excited about the next blog post and a freebie that I can't wait to share!!!

Melanie

All the Feels

I am so excited to share a book review with you all today and a book giveaway. I think we can all agree it has been a heavy past few weeks so I am eager to share something light and upbeat today.

Today I am sharing the book Marcy's Having All the Feels by Allison Edwards. Y'all, this book is pretty precious. It reminds me a lot of the Disney movie Inside Out.

Marcy, the main character, is struggling with her emotions. She really wants to just have the good feelings but realizes how important ALL of the emotions are.

I love how it breaks down the different emotions and gives examples of situations in which a kid may experience those emotions.

This is not only a great addition to your counseling library but also for your home library. It is whimsical and cleverly written.

You can check out my video review HERE.

I don't have students to directly use this with currently but I plan to use this with a kiddo in individual counseling. The first thing that came to mind that would be a great addition is my free Feelings Foldable.

Students can draw the emotion and under the flap write or draw when that feeling has helped them in a situation. Then they can share!

I hope this is a resource you can use in your counseling practice. I hope you are all staying healthy (physically, mentally, and emotionally) during this challenging time.

Lots of Love,

Melanie

Talking to Kids About COVID 19

Good evening, friends! The world has been full of anxiousness lately. People are fearful, businesses and schools are closing, and the toilet paper struggle is real. LOL! (I had to add something light).

There are SO many different conversations happening and planning that is occurring. However, one of the most important conversations to have is with our kids. If we think about what our kids may have been exposed to (seen or heard) when it comes to COVID 19, it can be concerning and understandable that some kids have increasing anxiety. Some may even have some form of post traumatic stress. An example is a child going to the store with their parent and seeing empty shelves for the first time or long lines wrapped around the store. This can be alarming for anyone. Another example is a kid sitting at a restaurant and seeing the media coverage. I can speak to this personally. I was at a restaurant with my family and my daughter (who has already been quite anxious about the topic) saw the coverage of people in a hospital with masks and the death toll. All of these instances can truly affect a child's anxiety level. So, as a parent and/or educator....how do we start this conversation with our kids? What we share and how we share it makes all the difference.

Below are a few resources and tips for talking to kids about Coronavirus/COVID 19

• Stay Calm: our kids react based on OUR reactions
• Talk about it: give facts but choose the facts you give to not cause added stress
• Avoid 24/7 discussion over the topic 
• Limit media exposure
• Keep a schedule (if your child's campus is closed, create a schedule while they're home). We know kids thrive with routine especially during stressful times. (Great example my friend Leslie shared: source: Neuropsychology & Education Services for Children & Adolescents)

• If your child is feeling anxious, talk about healthy coping strategies such as mindfulness (video HERE), writing or drawing in a journal, talking to a trusted adult, and doing fun activities to take their mind off of the topic
• Help kids address their fears. The videos below contain great resources to decrease fears and give facts. There are a lot of silly rumors out there or media coverage that can be alarming.

Also, here are great tips from UNICEF:

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything you’re hearing about coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) right now. It’s also understandable if your children are feeling anxious, too. Children might find it difficult to understand what they are seeing online or on TV – or hearing from other people – so they can be particularly vulnerable to feelings of anxiety, stress and sadness. But having an open, supportive discussion with your children can help them understand, cope and even make a positive contribution for others.

1.  Ask open questions and listen

Start by inviting your child to talk about the issue. Find out how much they already know and follow their lead. If they are particularly young and haven’t already heard about the outbreak, you may not need to raise the issue – just take the chance to remind them about good hygiene practices without introducing new fears.

Make sure you are in a safe environment and allow your child to talk freely. Drawing, stories and other activities may help to open up a discussion.

Most importantly, don’t minimize or avoid their concerns. Be sure to acknowledge their feelings and assure them that it’s natural to feel scared about these things. Demonstrate that you’re listening by giving them your full attention, and make sure they understand that they can talk to you and their teachers whenever they like.
 

2.  Be honest: explain the truth in a child-friendly way

Children have a right to truthful information about what’s going on in the world, but adults also have a responsibility to keep them safe from distress. Use age-appropriate language, watch their reactions, and be sensitive to their level of anxiety.

If you can’t answer their questions, don’t guess. Use it as an opportunity to explore the answers together. Websites of international organizations like UNICEF and the World Health Organization are great sources of information. Explain that some information online isn’t accurate, and that it’s best to trust the experts.
 

3.  Show them how to protect themselves and their friends

One of the best ways to keep children safe from coronavirus and other diseases is to simply encourage regular hand washing. It doesn't need to be a scary conversation. Sing along with The Wiggles or follow this dance to make learning fun.

You can also show children how to cover a cough or a sneeze with their elbow, explain that it’s best not to get too close to people who have those symptoms, and ask them to tell you if they start to feel like they have a fever, cough or are having difficulty breathing.
 

4. Offer reassurance

When we’re seeing lots of troubling images on TV or online, it can sometimes feel like the crisis is all around us. Children may not distinguish between images on screen and their own personal reality, and they may believe they’re in imminent danger. You can help your children cope with the stress by making opportunities for them to play and relax, when possible. Keep regular routines and schedules as much as possible, especially before they go to sleep, or help create new ones in a new environment.

If you are experiencing an outbreak in your area, remind your children that they are not likely to catch the disease, that most people who do have coronavirus don’t get very sick, and that lots of adults are working hard to keep your family safe.

If your child does feel unwell, explain that they have to stay at home/at the hospital because it is safer for them and their friends. Reassure them that you know it is hard (maybe scary or even boring) at times, but that following the rules will help keep everyone safe.
 

5. Check if they are experiencing or spreading stigma

The outbreak of coronavirus has brought with it numerous reports of racial discrimination around the world, so it’s important to check that your children are neither experiencing nor contributing to bullying.

Explain that coronavirus has nothing to do with what someone looks like, where they are from or what language they speak. If they have been called names or bullied at school, they should feel comfortable telling an adult whom they trust.

Remind your children that everyone deserves to be safe at school. Bullying is always wrong and we should each do our part to spread kindness and support each other.
 

6. Look for the helpers

It’s important for children to know that people are helping each other with acts of kindness and generosity.

Share stories of health workers, scientists and young people, among others, who are working to stop the outbreak and keep the community safe. It can be a big comfort to know that compassionate people are taking action.
 

7. Take care of yourself

You’ll be able to help your kids better if you’re coping, too. Children will pick up on your own response to the news, so it helps them to know you’re calm and in control.

If you’re feeling anxious or upset, take time for yourself and reach out to other family, friends and trusted people in your community. Make some time to do things that help you relax and recuperate. 
 

8. Close conversations with care

It’s important to know that we’re not leaving children in a state of distress. As your conversation wraps up, try to gauge their level of anxiety by watching their body language, considering whether they’re using their usual tone of voice and watching their breathing.

Remind your children that they can have other difficult conversations with you at any time. Remind them that you care, you’re listening and that you’re available whenever they’re feeling worried.

Video Resources
Below are some great, kid friendly informational videos about COVID 19/Coronavirus:

Video by Science Mom:

Video by Children's Hospital Colorado
Kids asking doctors their questions

Video for Older Kids by BrainPop

I am also creating and sharing a video that will be released this weekend for kids that will include an activity/lesson. Feel free to use it with students if you are utilizing distance learning in your district or at home with your kids.

I hope these resources are helpful! I think at the end of the day, we all know that this isn't an easy situation to deal with. What we do know is the only thing in our control is to focus on the good and the positives in each day. Talk to your child about the good things that are happening and brainstorm ideas of ways to be kind and help others (from afar-social distancing).

I hope you all stay healthy and well!


Melanie Acker, LPC

Vision Boards & Random Acts of Kindness Day 2020 Ideas

Hello, friends. I don't know about all of you but I have had the most amazing weekend because, here, in the Dallas area we have had the most beautiful weather ever. It was a beautiful 75 degrees today so we enjoyed plenty of time outdoors. I truly believe that sunshine and playing outside brings JOY!!!

There is even some research that proves sunshine brings the positve vibes.

"Exposure to sunlight is thought to increase the brain’s release of a hormone called serotonin. Serotonin is associated with boosting mood and helping a person feel calm and focused." 
"Sunlight cues special areas in the retina, which triggers the release of serotonin."

-Healthline.com
Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD on May 25, 2018 — Written by Rachel Nall, RN, BSN, CCRN

Today I wanted to share a little about vision boards. My friend and I went to a workshop in my neighborhood at the start of the year to create vision boards for the new year. My other friend had also led a group activity in counseling supervision this past year. 

Vision boards are such an easy, wonderful way to focus in on goals and a vision for your future. When creating a vision board and planning for the future, the individual or group you are working with can decide the timeline. For example, maybe it is 6 months, 1 year, or 5 years. 

The supplies you need are quite minimal. You can use large construction paper, poster board, or a cork board (what our neighborhood session used). From there, you can have magazines, newspaper, ability to print pictures online, stickers, scrapbook material. You can create it with minimal supplies or you can go all out! 

I truly believe that when setting goals, creating a visual makes it seem much more attainable. Just like writing down your checklist can sometimes be motivating, I think seeing what you hope for your future to be can inspire you to DO.

Here is a picture of my finished product:

Another key piece when creating a vision board is to display it somewhere that you will actually see it. I always recommend a client or student to put it in a place where they start the day or get ready so it is right there to remind you of your goals. 

I actually plan to do a vision board night with my husband and kids. What a fun, cheap family night where we can talk about our hopes and dreams...and create visuals of it!!

Another thing I want to share is that tomorrow (Monday, February 17th) is Random Acts of Kindness Day!!! I believe in random acts of kindness everyday but what a fun way to highlight this with students. If you are on low on time, I  have a kind note from the counselor HERE.

Print a few on color paper, cut out, and leave positive notes around your building for teachers, students, parents, etc.

Need a few ideas but you are low on time? Here are a few, super quick ideas:

• Have blank post its in a central location with a sign that says to write a positive note and pass it on
• Have each hallway or grade level choose a kindness project tomorrow but give them a deadline to complete it. Have them write their kindness project on butcher paper, decorate, and they can all sign it and hang it at the end of their hall or in the main hallway
• Highlight random acts of kindness that have been done this school year on announcements. Celebrate kindness and hopefully it will spread!!!
• Show these precious Pass It On videos HERE during lunches or during announcements (if your school is set up for that)

I hope you all have a wonderful Random Acts of Kindness day tomorrow. I am staying up tonight to write some encouraging notes to various people. Remember, it does not have to be something that costs money. Kindness is FREE!!! 

Melanie

Self Care Sunday and Compassion Fatigue

Sometimes caring too much can hurt. I have struggled with this a lot as an educator and parent. I care so much that sometimes it causes stress. For those of you who may be reading this and are educators, this may sound familiar. We love our students so much and so badly want to ensure we are supporting them to the very best of our ability. We think about how they may be doing over breaks, for some we may worry if their basic needs are being met, and we may worry or stress about how they are doing socially, emotionally, and academically.

There are many professions that can experience compassion fatigue: health professionals, counselors, caregivers of those who may be ill or aging...but what exactly is compassion fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is an emotional (and sometimes physical) state that one experiences when they are preoccupied with the stress or suffering of those that they are helping which can sometimes cause a secondary stress for the person who is helping.

What are the symptoms of compassion fatigue?

The American Institute of Stress outlines the following:

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
– Affects many dimensions of your well-being
– Nervous system arousal (Sleep disturbance)
– Emotional intensity increases
– Cognitive ability decreases
– Behavior and judgment impaired
– Isolation and loss of morale
– Depression and PTSD (potentiate)
– Loss of self-worth and emotional modulation
– Identity, worldview, and spirituality impacted
– Beliefs and psychological needs-safety, trust, esteem, intimacy, and control
– Loss of hope and meaning=existential despair
– Anger toward perpetrators or causal events

Compassion fatigue is a process, it doesn't just happen overnight. You may be reading this right now and thinking, "Oh my goodness!!! I have compassion fatigue!" You very well might be suffering from it. So, how do we overcome compassion fatigue??

Below are some tips. Let me preface this by saying I am far from perfect. I have to remind myself to practice these very things (especially sleep). But can I tell you how powerful positivity and starting your day with something motivational is? I wake up each day with positive self talk.
The struggle is real but these are some tips to set you up for success.

 I can't even begin to share how important it is to have "a person." Someone you can call and vent to and then laugh about it with. I think out of the whole list that is the most important. It's good to have someone you can trust and share with. We never want to carry our negativity on our sleeve and then live in it because we will be what we carry.

Now on the same note, I want to talk about Self Care Sunday! 
Remember that self care can be as simple as taking a warm bath and watching a funny show or curling up with a good book and a cup of coffee. However, self care is more than that. Self care is realizing what you want and adjusting your routine and habits to get you there. If you are finding yourself frantically trying to get through the week, set aside time to intentionally plan and put habits into place like prepping each Sunday. Self  care can be a little moment or a life changing moment. 

I am so excited about some things to come to share with you all in the next month (a new book). 

Some of you have asked about my LPC, as well, and it is going great. I am on track to finish in February. It has went by so fast and I am loving every moment of it. I know supporting others is what I was made to do and I can't believe I will be finished soon. I am a bit sad because I love my supervisor and our group. 

On a side note, I have to share this picture. For those of you that have watched my videos...I always start with a "Hey, yall!" My sweet Ella took this picture of me this past weekend at a little shop with a mug with that saying. 

I hope you all have a great week and make sure to take time for you. We talk about SEL needs for our students...remember they are just as important for those leading them! 


Melanie

Negative Self Talk: The Awfulizer Book Giveaway & FREEBIE!

Negative self talk. This is something I think every person struggles with. I pride myself on having a positive outlook but can I tell you that negative self talk creeps in at times and it can sometimes limit what I do? I am an adult who is trained in mental health yet I am such a victim of this at times. So, how can we work with kids and teenagers with negative self talk?

I received this book a few weeks ago. It is called the Awfulizer: Learning to Overcome the Shame Game by Kristin Maher and illustrated by Robert Dunn.

Y'all, I am LOVING it. If you know me, I love all books but this one illustrates negative self talk and how to overcome it. The negative self talk is portrayed as a big, green, fluffy creature which won't be intimidating for younger children.

I have never utilized a book about self talk and shame. The book details strategies the character uses to overcome the Awfulizer and how to become an AWESOMIZER!!! This can also be tied in with having a growth mindset and grit.

This would be perfect for a small group lesson or a guidance lesson. After reading through this book, it got me thinking of how I could use it with a client or counseling group, so I created this FREEBIE that you can get HERE!

This is geared for students who can independently write or you can use this one sheet in a small group and the teacher can fill in the chart as the group members go around and share.

If you are interested in this book, you can check it out HERE.

Another thing I wanted to share that would be great to use for high school is this video. Although the animations look as if they are geared towards younger students, this is actually targeted for high school and even adults. As mental health professionals, we are all very familiar with good ol' Cognitive Behavior Therapy. If not, Cognitive Behavior Therapy is a treatment that helps clients truly understand their thoughts and feelings and how they affect or impact their behavior.

This 2 minute video gives two strategies that students or adults can use: 1. Distract    2. Combat
This would be great to show a group and then discuss or journal how they can utilize those two strategies when facing negative self talk.

I hope these resources are helpful for you to use in your school counseling program or in your counseling practice. I am excited to begin consistently blogging (my goal is every week)!!!

Take care of others and take care of YOU!

-Melanie

Balance: Book Review of Seraphina Does Everything!

Happy Friday, y'all! I am not sure about you but we have a 4 day weekend and me and my family are oh-so-excited. We are supposed to have beautiful weather in the Dallas area so that is a bonus!

Speaking of being excited for some time off to be with family. I wanted to talk about balance. In our society, being a goal getter and working hard is something that is admired and valued. I am definitely not one to argue with working hard for success because my list of goals is long. However, something we sometimes miss is balance. I was talking to my Dad the other day on the phone. He was talking to me about living a simple life, not worrying, and enjoying each moment. I am so thankful for talks with my Dad because my family knows that I am a planner and task oriented. They know I want to know the schedule and do 10 things in between. My husband is also good about "making" me rest, relax, and take time for me. It is good to be surrounded with people that remind us of that. I think we often get caught up in everything around us and everything that we are doing, we lose focus of the why and the moments around us.

I recently had the opportunity to review a new book called Seraphina Does EVERYTHING and I have been eager to share it with you all because it is a kid version of what I am explaining above. This book is so well written and has beautiful illustrations. As I read the story, I kept thinking that this was a good book for ME to read, as well.

The story follows a young girl who is excited about doing and being everything. However, she soon realizes that she is overwhelmed with being so busy that she is missing some special moments with friends and family. The author does a wonderful job focusing on balance. I think sometimes kids (and adults) are excited about the many opportunities to do and be so much (which is awesome) but it's all about balance and not being so busy where you aren't enjoying any of it.

This is a great book to add to any classroom, counseling office, or home. I know I am so excited to share it with my own children. You can find more information on the book HERE and you can purchase it HERE.

This book is published by the National Center for Youth Issues. Many of my favorite counseling resources are from them. You can find link to their accounts and page below:

• Website: https://ncyi.org/


• Facebook: National Center for Youth Issues https://www.facebook.com/ncyi.org/


• Instagram: National Center for Youth Issues https://www.instagram.com/nationalcenterforyouthissues/


• Twitter: NCYI https://twitter.com/NCYI

I am excited about my next post as a I share my new Plum Paper planner and some of my recent Target and Dollar Tree finds. Have a Happy Easter! 

Melanie

Social Emotional Learning

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful opportunity of co-moderating the #escchat (elementary school counselor chat). It was an amazing time collaborating with school counselors from all over the country on the topic of social emotional learning. Social emotional learning is the buzz word everyone is talking about and for good reason. But what exactly is it? It is often used in conjunction with character building and guidance lessons. While it does have some of those components, social emotional learning is much more than that. It is a required life skill set.

The What
Social emotional learning is how we (adults and children) learn to manage our emotions while also understanding them. Self regulation and emotional awareness are key to this. It also encompasses showing empathy, being responsible, making responsible decisions, and establishing and maintaining positive relationships.

Social emotional learning is not another program or initiative that a campus or district puts into place. Social emotional learning is a skill set that we must have to be healthy kids and adults.

The Why
Research shows that incorporating social emotional learning boosts student achievement. And that is no surprise. I am a big believer that we can't get to Bloom's without meeting Maslow, meaning that our students cannot get to those high levels of learning if basic needs aren't met (safety, basic needs, belonging).

SEL is also proven to help with behavior. If students are taught how to regulate emotions, be empathetic, and how to have positive relationships, behavior concerns will decrease. For example, think of a student that may have outbursts or get upset easily. If taught healthy self regulation skills, they will not only be able to utilize those strategies, but as they get older, they will be able to regulate feelings of frustration and anger in a healthy way.

When I was an elementary counselor in a larger, urban school district I began studying SEL (around 2013). The campus that I served consisted of around 91% low socioeconomic students and we also had the opportunity to serve refugee students from Burma, Nepal, and the Congo. It was vital to teach these skills just as we taught curriculum for content areas.

I think that is the key to social emotional learning. It is not a program. It is not a temporary "buzz" topic. It is a needed set of skills for students to be well equipped as they grow older.

Misconceptions
Many believe that social emotional learning is character building and comes from a counselor. Social emotional learning isn't just about highlighting a character trait or receiving a guidance lesson from a campus counselor (while those are all wonderful things). It is a whole campus teaching approach that is best for ALL kids. Another misconception is that social emotional learning is provided or focused on solely for students who are currently struggling with behavior or emotions. Yet, SEL is beneficial for ALL students. It could be beneficial for adults, too. Think of how often you may see people get so upset and not be able to control their emotions. While we are all human, it is important to be able to regulate ourselves and our emotions so they we can interact in positive ways with others.

Resources
Everywhere you turn, SEL is being discussed. With it being such a needed skill, where can you turn for support and guidance?

Below you can find some wonderful resources from organizations that solely focus on Social Emotional Learning. I am currently also working on resources and resource guides that will be available in my TPT store. Follow @stylishschoolcounselor on Facebook (here) or Instagram (@stylishschoolcounselorblog) for updates.

CASEL: Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning
https://casel.org/

Edutopia: They have a wonderful page of SEL resources and articles
https://www.edutopia.org/social-emotional-learning

Whether you are a classroom teacher who is wanting to equip your students with more than academic support or a counselor who wants to spark the conversation of incorporating SEL into your everyday routine...you are taking a very exciting step. It all starts somewhere!

Want to see more posts like this? Check out my post on Mindfulness here!



-Melanie

Counselor Introduction, My Counselor is a Princess, and #NSCW19

Hello, friends! Can you believe it is almost February? And that means celebrating one of the most exciting weeks of the year, National School Counseling Week. As a school counselor this was always one of my most favorite weeks. Not only is it a fun week to be recognized, but most importantly, it is an opportunity to highlight your school counseling program and the effects it has had on your campus.

Often times, I would create a menu of services or a cute, quick sheet highlighting things in the program, or fun facts such as our school has had 136 guidance lessons to date on these topics...or there have been 13 lunch bunch sessions. Not only is this a wonderful time to share what it is that you do, it is also a chance to advocate for the counseling program. I would also do an announcement each day sharing a counseling fact or something special about the program that week (Ex: we have learned about 3 important character traits so far at our school: respect, integrity, and kindness).

I would also give all staff members a certificate of appreciation for their support for our school counseling program. You can find some of my past links below:

2014
2015

You can also find ideas at ASCA's website HERE.

As I shared in my last post, my husband and I began writing books as a fun hobby. Our newest book is one I just knew I had to share with you all. It is called My Counselor is a Princess (HERE). This is a very light, simple read that discusses briefly what a counselor does. As with the other books in our series (My Teacher is an Elf HERE and My PE Teacher is a Ninja HERE) the students find some of her qualities to be that of a princess and wonder if that is what she really is. It would be great to use at the beginning of the year or during school counseling week as a fun activity.

Not only are we excited to release it right before National School Counseling Week but I have finally created a companion activity pack to go along with it on Teachers Pay Teachers. You can use the activity pack with or without the book. You can find it HERE

There are 5 activities (only 1 you would need the book for) and 5 posters. I must say the posters are my favorite and I will show you why! When I created these posters, I thought it would be important to not put the feeling word that most may think of when they see the pictures. I wanted these to be laminated and used in guidance to talk about feelings. Students may come up with great words aside from the usual mad or happy. They may think of frustrated, hurt, etc. These would also be great to have in a hallway or classroom.

The book and activity pack would be a fun. quick addition to your guidance lesson resources and if you do use it, I would love to see pictures. You can also now follow me on Instagram at @stylishschoolcounselorblog and also over @ackerbooks (side note: my husband's instatories crack me up)

 I hope you all have a wonderful School Counseling Week. I created and posted this earlier in the week but remember to take care of YOU. We cannot be our best and give our best if we don't take time for ourselves. Remember, self care is one of the top ways to prevent burn out. Even 15 minutes of yoga or singing in the car with a cup of coffee all alone...don't forget to invest in your well being.

Melanie